Every December or January I write down 108 things that I want to achieve for the upcoming year. It isn’t a hard and fast list that I must complete but rather a visual reminder of where I want to head and what I’d like to do on the way. Some of it is pretty basic stuff; write a letter to a friend, read a book, go to the movies or visit a loved one. Then there are others that are more work orientated such as combining all my mini e-guides into one book, writing our family history stories and creating online courses from my workshops. The later are the ones that ‘nag’ at me the most, the ones I feel guilt over when they sit in my list for more than a year, usually while actively procrastinating.
I have loads of ideas for projects swimming around in my brain and it is hard not to have more than one on the go at once. I really admire those ‘wood pecker’ people who can just get stuck into one project and complete it before moving on. Honestly though I am more of a ‘hummingbird’ when it comes to activities. I have multiple ‘projects’ going, flitting from one to another, making them all drawn out. Each day I aim to do a little on each of my projects and interests in the hope that they will come off my list. It also helps me feel like I have been productive and a lot more positive. They are little steps I know but they are all moving me towards my goals and even though it means they aren’t being achieved quite as quickly as I would like I tell myself I am building consistency.
This is all well and good when I’m in a routine at home and have the day to structure how I like. The kicker comes when we need to be out and about or away. It doesn’t take much to distract this little hummingbird! I quickly get out of the swing of taking productive action each day, whether that be eating well, exercising or working on projects, and invariably items get dropped. I enjoy the change in scenery for sure however then I find it really hard to great back into taking action and making decisions which align with what I want vs what is the path of least resistance. After a few days I can feel my mood head south, doubt creeps in. Am I doing enough? Am I enough? Will I ever actually finish what I want to do? Am I doing anything of value?
It can be hard when this happens and harder still to re-frame my thoughts towards getting ‘back on track’. The pull of sliding into the wallow is great and the discomfort of taking positive action to create change never fails to surprise me. Over the years though the realization that ultimately I feel better when I am exercising, eating right, meditating and working towards where I want to be (a healthy, relaxed and happy person) helps me to make the changes I need to get back to my daily little steps. I notice too that over time I am faster and faster at getting back on track after I’m ‘way laid’. I still have off days where all I want to do is ‘veg’ and procrastinate however I’m now I tend to just let them visit and enjoy them as I know that they won’t be here forever. I’m more confident that a return to productivity will return.
Why am I sharing all this? Well I guess sometimes I think I’m the only one going through this internal (sometimes external) chaos but then I chat to someone and realize we are all the same. We are all going through the same ups and downs. We all have things we want to do, be it small like finishing a project or large like seeking the help we need to heal. We are all striving to do our best with what we have. All trying to feel better, happier and healthier each day. So, I thought today I’d be that someone to let you know I hear you and understand, maybe not the full picture of what you are experiencing but the struggle to journey through life in the direction you want while navigating the ‘potholes’ as they are encountered.
And while the discomfort of doing those little things which help you feel more productive, happier and healthier can be awkward, uncomfortable and even bloody hard at times in the end they will get you where you want to be so keep on going, don’t give up and always look ahead. Little steps will bet no steps every time.