One of the most interesting things I have learnt since being on this journey of natural health, and in my time on this planet, is that ultimately we are all wanting and searching for similar things and often going through similar internal issues. Everyone wants to be valued. Everyone wants to feel that they belong. Everyone wants to be accepted just as they are. We are all connected so much more than we realize and yet we often only focus on the differences.
Sometimes in a bid to be seen, be valued and feel validated people jump on a bandwagon. They proclaim to uphold the rights of some but usually at the cost of others. Usually it is some of the most vulnerable and already attacked people in our communities who ‘wear’ this cost. In New Zealand we have seen just this over the past week and this has similarly been seen many times over around the world. It can be a fine line between rights activist and rights oppressor, between freedom of speech and hate speech, between fighting for your beliefs and being a terrorist but when you are stepping on others to make your point or harming others to get what you want the line has been crossed and the later applies in my opinion.
When I’m teaching Infant Massage one of the key aspects is asking permission. This has great positive outcomes as in asking permission to massage and listening to those cues babies feel they are valued enough to be listened to. If baby is upset we don’t continue with massage, instead we have a cuddle break and let them be. This simple act of asking, listening and responding sends a powerful message that they (the babies) are loved, valued and enough just the way they are. That they are worthy of being listened to. Many people have never had this conveyed to them. Never been told that they are worthy just as they are without the need to ‘perform’ or ‘achieve’. Never been told that there is enough love and adoration to go around. Never been told that there is no need to put others down in order to get that love or recognition. I think maybe if they had then they would see that it is ok to let others be themselves and in doing so it enhances the environment/community/world for all. If someone had really listened to what they were asking for they would feel differently about the world and the people in it. If there is no harm being done (and in the recent New Zealand issue there is no evidence to support the fear driven claims of harm being made) then why can’t people live their own lives, in their own way?
Many years ago I blogged about a challenge I set myself; a challenge to view others as wanting the same as me – love, kindness and acceptance. When I did this, regardless of how different their actions or words looked, and reacted to them as I would want to be treated I noticed a positive shift in my ‘world’. In viewing people’s actions as simply a cry of love, validation, acceptance and belonging, I could see beyond the outward crap and see what they were really saying, what they were really asking of me. Usually it was ‘Please’. Please see me. Please listen to me. Please value me. Please accept me. Please help me to feel I am enough. In viewing others actions or reactions in this way it changed (and continues to change) how I respond …. though sometimes a big breath is needed first to let go of my initial thoughts and reaction.
The great news is it is never too late to show someone they matter or that they are enough. Never to late to really listen. Treating others with respect, giving them time and as much patience as I can not only enables me to feel better about things but I noticed even in the most difficult situations the other person became calmer and not as agitated. Remembering that in every interaction I have people they are basically either saying ‘Please’ or ‘Thank You’ makes me react very differently and makes me feel different; calmer and more connected. It actually adds to my life in a good way rather than detracting from it and leaves me with a positive vibe that then flows into my day, improving it no end.
So I’m refreshing my efforts to continue this challenge and I’m encouraging you to too. It’s not any easy challenge, not by a long stretch but it is oh so rewarding. Just starting with your family or the shop assistant or work colleagues can open up a world of change. Change in how you feel. Change in how others feel and ultimately change in how we come together as a community. The trickle down effect of this challenge has the potential to snowball and I so hope it does.
Hope this finds you happy, healthy and truly knowing that you are enough. In fact you are more than enough 🙂
Arohanui
Y
Becoming Healthy 