The Challenge

This past week I set myself a challenge. A challenge which I haven’t done all that well with. My challenge? To quit complaining for a week. Sounds simple right? That’s what I thought too …. as I set my intention at the start of the week it all seemed straight forward enough but as the days went by the severity of my challenge began to stink in.

It has amazed me that in focusing on not moaning, complaining or bitching I now realise just how much I do! Sometimes I hear myself saying things as they come spilling out of my mouth without any real thought … that is how ingrained my habit is obviously. Admittedly not all of it is external, sometimes I catch the thought before it leaves my mouth, but it has become apparent that my days are scattered full of wee moments of complaint. They are short lived and fleeting to be sure but there never the less.

In the process of noticing my own moaning I have also become sharply aware of others comments and/or tone. I find myself constantly questioning ‘Is this complaining about something/someone or just explaining about a difficult situation?’ What can seem like a statement is easily turned into a moan with the tone used or a look given. Sometimes I even find myself complaining in a joking way ….. having a laugh and making it feel less of a complaint. Is this still complaining when I make light of an uncomfortable situation? It may get a laugh but at what cost to me and the other person involved?

The Stress Experts blog explains it this way …. ‘So, complaining is what you do when you are in a negative state/mood and you talk about negative things, hoping someone will join you in the swill you’re swimming in.’ When I look at it that way I tend to let myself off the hook a little. My complaining tends to be an offload without wanting anyone to ‘come swim in the swill with me’ though sometimes (if I’m being completely honest) that is kind of nice too! My intention usually isn’t to ‘get at anyone’ or moan incessantly. Ultimately my intention is to take more responsibility in my life and moaning about things is pretty much the opposite of that. Hence the challenge! As Bryon Katie says (and I’m paraphrasing here) there are three kinds of business; yours, theirs and the universe’s. You can’t do jack about two of them so may as well just focus on your own business and make the most of that. Complaining about the other two isn’t going to get me anywhere and while it can be hard to ‘leave’ some stuff alone, I always feel better when I do.

I haven’t completely stopped myself whinging, complaining or moaning and I’m not even sure if that is possible if I’m being honest but I am definitely catching myself more. Catching myself both internally with my thoughts and externally which is allowing me space to either stop or redirect the conversation more. The good thing is that in complaining less and looking for the positives more I am actually helping to reduce my stress and find more balance which is something all of us can benefit from. So I’m going to continue with it this week; practise makes perfect they say.

Hope this finds you happy, healthy and loving the life you’re in …. warts and all

Arohanui

Y

www.becominghealthy.co.nz

Drowning in Goodness … again

This a bit of a reblog/rehashed blog today. I remembered that I wrote about this six years ago as I was feeling overwhelmed on the weekend. Overwhelmed at all the awesome things I had going on. Overwhelmed with how I could fit them all in and still feel calm. I like knowing that I get certain things done each day ….. a routine if you like but not with any set time frame but lately it is a rush to get those things done and everything else that is going on.

This is a first-world, privileged problem to be sure yet that doesn’t make it feel any less real. Sometimes I have to pinch myself a bit and say ‘WTF …. you have so much.  If there is too much going on let go of something.’  However this is where my biggest fault lies …. I’m useless at letting go especially when I’m enjoying it all!! I like to think I’m getting better on the material side however that internal voice that keeps telling me that I need to do more is constant. I get ideas and then I want to make them a reality even when they push my boundaries. As a consequence I sign myself up to too may things or decide I want to get too many things done in a certain time frame …. I accept the free language course, I plan a workshop, I agree to go out, I offer to take people places, I write that blog – yay, doing that ;), I work on writing my book, bake for my Infant Massage class, I work on an upcoming EFT course all at the same time as home-schooling, taxing themselves, keeping house and trying to keep sane!

Yep … so really feeling like I am drowning in goodness at the moment.  How do you let go of all that goodness though?  How do I prioritize which is deserving of attention first?  Usually it is the loudest ones that get first dibs … themselves that is ;). So here I am sharing a thought instead driving someone somewhere or preparing for this weekend’s workshop.  Here I am taking a breath and letting go of all the demands for the next little bit to enjoy sitting down with a book while the rain comes down outside, the baking cools and the washing spins away.

I hope that if you’re reading this and feeling the same you can join me in my ‘life-ring’ of rest … before diving back into it all.

Arohanui

Y

www.becominghealthy.co.nz

Winter Wellness – Part 4 – Lose the stress

This week I am gearing up to do my first 3 hour exam in over 20 years and I am feeling the stress creeping in with each day moving me closer to it.   It is amazing how sly stress can be! Honestly, just when I think that I’m on top of things and have this study thing sorted life gets on top of me and before I know it, I’m feeling that tension throughout my body.  

Thankfully we have lots of nature to get out into and de-stress

The bus isn’t the easiest place to study I have to say, apparently if you can be seen you must be spoken to :), and when you’re in a small town there aren’t that many quiet places to head off to either. So, I’m trying my best to get out of the stress loop by using the tools in my kete (basket) that I know work for me.  I figured that in a culture which too often rates your ability to cope under stress as an indicator of people’s success, others may like to try some of these little beauties to remove some of that stress naturally rather than having to ‘cope’ with it.

Get moving.  Exercise (aerobic especially) is proven to help relieve stress and other negative emotions such as depression.  When we move our bodies, it helps loosen and work all those muscles that you may be holding in tension, it gets you changing your focus, in increases oxygen to the brain and best of all those ‘feel good’ hormones get released.  Any kind of movement is good so pick one that you love and try and get out in nature with it to increase the benefits. 

Have a laugh.  Laughing creates a euphoric effect that will instantly release any tension you have. It can trigger the release of endorphins (the body’s natural pain killers and feel good hormone) which helps you to feel better all over and to relax.  Laughter yoga is now offered in many places and can be a great way to connect with new people however failing that it may just be a good excuse to watch those comedies, silly youtube clips and share all those jokes you have!

Count to 10.  Taking deep breathes and a wee bit of time out is an age old classic that costs nothing and is very effective. The key to this is breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth as this helps relax the whole body … it is hard to keep tension in your body with your mouth open.  Research also shows that deep breathing helps trigger the vagus nerve (a cranial nerve which helps regulate the heart, digestion and lungs) and works with the parasympathic nervous system to bring us into that ‘rest and digest’ state of being rather than stuck in ‘fight/flight or freeze’ state of being. 

Meditate.  Even 5 mins a day of meditation will help stress levels though of course the longer you meditate the greater the benefits. This doesn’t have to be a big deal just find a quite spot, close your eyes (or look downwards, relaxing your gaze) and clear your mind of as much as you can.  First thing in the morning to ‘set you up’ for the day or last thing at night to help you unwind and get a good sleep can be really effective times.  There are loads of apps out there now which can help you get into the right headspace.

Essential oils.  Scent has a powerful impact on our bodies and can bring up memories and emotions easily. This is in part due to the fact that the olfactory nerve (whose nerve fibres in the nose allow us smell) are connected to the limbic system in the brain, rather than going through the cerebral cortex (our thinking part) which triggers these ‘primitive’ responses to what we are smelling.  Lavender is the most popular relaxant but there are plenty others to try.  This link may help you to begin your experimentation with scent.

Stretch.  A good stretch can help with the physical symptoms of stress.  Like exercise it gets you moving those muscles that may have been held in tension. Try a class of yoga which will combine breathing, stretching and exercise for a real stress reliever or even a basic stretch at your desk and see how good it feels. Here is a link to a few suggestions.

Bach Flower Remedies.  As many of you know I love Bach Flower Remedies and I’m a big believer that emotions dictate our health unless we intervene.  Bach Flowers are designed to work on emotions and can target the source of your negative emotions helping to increase the positive.  White Chestnut is a classic for those who continue with ‘mental conversations and/or internal arguments’, whereas Agrimony can help those who hide their stress behind a smile.  If you want to learn more and try a treatment bottle then check out my FREE quiz to find your remedies (don’t worry you don’t have to sign up to anything) and e-mail me to make you up a bottle. Otherwise you can find out more about Bach Flowers and have your own guide by checking out my book ‘Finding Calm and Balance’ which is on sale at a special price for the next week or so, along with my other e-books.

Only 99c (US) at the moment along with my other books

Hope this finds you a little calmer, a little less tense and enjoying the life you have.

Arohanui

Y

www.becominghealthy.co.nz

Capsule Eating?

Ok, so the title may have you wondering but read on and all will be revealed.

You see over the past few weeks I have had a few conversations about mealtimes – namely what people have on the menu for their evening meals.  One friend talked of collecting recipes so that she could get out of her cooking rut while another shared how she cooked a different meal each night over several weeks??!! You know who you are you culinary goddess 🙂

And what was I doing while these conversations occurred? Quietly hanging my head in shame…….. you see that so called ‘cooking rut’ is my life-ring in a stormy sea of meal time indecision!!

While I don’t intentionally cook the same things over and over (and over and over and well you get the idea) somehow I manage to cook particular dishes on certain week nights.  Sheer lack of enthusiasm over cooking meals combined with so many options ends in my no-think meals arriving each week.

Ready to cook my Wednesday night regular – rice and veg

Then last week something arrived in my inbox from Becoming Minimalist that gave me hope.  In fact it overjoyed me, gave me my new food revolution and relieved my shame instantly!  What was this amazing blog about you may ask?  Well it was actually about 8 reasons that successful people wear the same things everyday (a capsule wardrobe) however in reading those reasons I saw that actually in having the same menu over and over again it was in fact a very savvy and smart move for someone less culinary endowed like myself.

Six out of the 8 reasons applied to me and cooking meals and so I am now embracing my same meals each week as a ‘capsule eating’ plan rather than thinking of it as a cooking rut.  I have a ‘capsule’ shopping list which now means that I can create a range of meals which I know 1.I can cook without thinking and  2. the kids will eat (most nights)!

For those Foodies out there who may be wondering why??! Here are my adaptation of Becoming Minimalists reasons as applied to mealtime.

1: Fewer Decisions and hence leaving more head space for more important decisions during the day.

2: Less time wasted in trying to decide what I will cook while swinging on open cupboard and fridge doors.

3: Less Stress!!

4: Less wasted energy both in strolling numerous aisles looking for ingredients and in juggling recipe books, children and animals.

5: Less expense as my shopping list is fairly basic ingredients

6: More Peace. Of mind that is!!

Hope this finds you embracing your own revolution – even if it only applies to you.

Arohanui

Y