Why stress and worry?

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So often we increase our stress levels simply by worrying about everything we have to do, what others think or that we are not living up to our potential while everyone else around us seem to have their lives sorted. Truth is that if we had an opportunity to take even the tiniest peek into those ‘other lives’ we would recognize the same fears, worries, un-decidedness and underlying troubles we ourselves have.

It is easy to compare ourselves for better or worse with others however it doesn’t always serve us very well. We don’t really know what the other person it thinking or feeling and we don’t know what they have experienced. You can always benefit from seeing how others deal with issues in a positive way; just comparing yourself and rating yourself better or worse will never bring true, long term gains. Our stress and worry levels are determined by one major factor – how we react to the events in our lives – not by how we are ‘measuring up . Event + Response / Reaction = Outcome. (Canfield, The Success Principles, 2015). So how we decide to react can bring us more or less stress and more or less happiness in life.

The question is then; if we are all going through similar problems and our stress levels are decided by how we response to those problems then what are we to do? Give up? Go with the flow? Battle it all? Find a compromise? Or change the way we respond to problems to move forward? All are valid, and possible, plans of action. Whatever we choose we would be able to justify in our minds, and to others, so maybe a better questions would be ‘How can I live a more relaxed life’; ‘What would serve me positively’; or ‘Which actions will enable me to grow as a person?’

Even when it seems that it is other people who have created the problem if we are worried or stressed about it then it is our issue. We can’t change others, only ourselves. However; and here is where the magic comes in, sometimes in changing ourselves, in reacting to events in a different way, the people around us want to change too. Problems and issues seem to lessen or disappear, the stress eases and life feels better. The law of attraction states that ‘like will attract like’ so the more positive and calm we are the more positivity and calmness we attract and the reverse is also true. So which would you choose?

By focusing on the present, being grateful for all the positives and abundance we have, and moving forward from there we will attract those who are also thinking along the same lines. The past is already history, it has created the people we are for better or for worse and the future is still a mystery. While we can acknowledge the past and have goals for the future if we stay in either place too long it can leave us in a stagnant space dwelling or dreaming rather than acting. Here and now is where and when life is happening!

As the Dalai Lama is quoted as saying “There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.”

Arohanui

Y

www.becominghealthy.co.nz

The holiday let down

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Well I’m at a bit of a loss for inspiration this week after arriving back from a warm winter break in Fiji to the strong icy winds that we have blowing here at the moment.  All I really want to do is snuggle up in bed with a good book!!  So following that thought I’ve decided to just go with the ‘lazy flow’ and share my e-books with you ….. in case you have the urge to snuggle up with a book too 🙂

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Take it Easy

In this busy interconnected and wired-up world stress seems to be a natural part of daily life. Right? Wrong! Life doesn’t have to be a rush. What if you could take it easy and create a ‘stress-less’ life for yourself? With my simple tools and ideas you can discover simple ways to reduce your stress and be on your way to creating exactly that – A ‘Stress-Less’ Life. This e-book will guide you through five simple steps to help you create a life where you are enjoying your days and experiencing less stress while improving your health and well-being.

 

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Magnificent Mamas (really for anyone though as it has all my pearls of wisdom in it)

Regain balance, rediscover the joy in each day and live your dream with this 12 week program. Life is busy and when children are added to the mix life can get hectic. Often it is easy to lose sight of the things that really matter and forget to give time to yourself along with remembering your dreams. Now Magnificent Mamas with take you through week by week to create the life that you want and can have. There are tips and ideas for finding balance, for self- care and for achieving your goals and dreams.

 

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Creating a Vivacious You

Losing weight and feeling great doesn’t have to be complicated or cost lots of money. In a world where we are bombarded with new ‘diets’, ‘quick fix’ solutions and numerous products for improving our lives it is easy to forget that actually the basic rules for having health and well-being still apply. This book guides you through some ‘back to basics’ steps which will help you to feel healthier, feel happier and help create your ideal body.

 

 

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Finding Calm and Balance

This comprehensive guide has everything you need to use Bach Flower Remedies with confidence. Find out how you can begin to gain more balance, more calm and less stress naturally through using Bach Flower Remedies. This guide covers what Bach Flower Remedies are, how to select them for yourself and others, how to use them and affirmations to support your chosen remedies along with a section on using Bach Flower Remedies with children. If you are interested in becoming healthy naturally and healing then this is a must have book for you.

 

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Mother’s Little Helper

Discover easy, natural remedies and ideas for healing your children with Mother’s Little Helper by Yossarian Fay. This book is loaded with ideas to help you to continue on your journey of Becoming Healthy and ensure your children are becoming healthy too. There are recipes, kitchen cures, a section on using Bach Flower remedies with children, information on how to use EFT and reflexology with your children, making this a must have book for your collection.

 

Hope this finds you relaxed, mentally nourished and ready to enjoy the week ahead

Arohanui

Y

www.becominghealthy.co.nz

Healing Hands Reflexology

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My mind is still filled with all those families who are now learning to live without their loved ones.  I constantly think about how magnified their emotions must be, not only with grief but also dealing with the way the loss occurred, of what the future holds and possibly a sense of uncertainly in their own community.

love is always at hand

For that reason I thought that I would share a bit of my Healing Hands workshop so that people can put it to use at home or out and about as they deal with the everyday stresses with everyday situations which may trigger huge emotions to surface.   Reflexology is such a great tool for well-being and since feet aren’t always that practical to get to when emotions arise, I love to use hand reflexology.  It is a bit of self love and soothing that you can be using, anytime, anywhere,  without anyone being the wiser.

Reflexology is a natural, holistic treatment which works on the principle that everything in the body is connected.  It is is a mixture of ancient wisdom and modern thinking where by the nerve endings in the feet and hands can be massaged in a particular way to help bring the body back into balance.  (Read more here)

What I’m offering here is a very basic guide as to where some points are in the hand which can help elevate the stress reaction as emotions come up.  The points shown in the images are ones you can rub and/or massage to help bring you some calm in order to move forward.  For the purposes of self calming and self love it really doesn’t matter how you approach the massage rather focus on breathing deep while holding the intention of calm and love with you as you work so that your body can respond in kind. In fact I would suggest any hand rubbing, twisting, shaking and clicking with the intention of release would be fantastic!

These points relate to parts of the body which frequently come into play as part of our stress (fight or flight) response.  Our breathing can quicken so rubbing the top of our palms (lung points) can help bring our breath back into balance. Our heads can spin so rubbing the fingertips (head, brain and sinus points) can help to bring clear thinking back into play.  Our shoulders and back tense up so rubbing the base of the little finger (shoulder point) and along the edge of our thumb and wrist (spine and nervous system) can ease the tension for example.

So without further ado I’ll let you look below and give it ago ……… don’t be shy, just try it and you’ll be impressed with how much more relaxed you can feel.  I was thinking about making a wee video of it all in action so if you think this would be helpful please leave a comment below and I’ll get cracking 🙂

Healing Hands Mini Stress Relief Routine

  • Pictures are all shown palms up.
  • Remember to take care of yourself so if anything hurts then ease up or miss it out. 
  • These are only guidelines, if you find a technique which is better for you then go with that. 
  • If it seems too much and overwhelming then just focus on one or two points to start with.
  • Breath as deep and slow as you can throughout the routine if possible. 

Begin with shaking out your hands then squeeze, twist and pull each thumb and finger. Rub hands together gently (front and back) while taking some deep breaths before starting the points below.

  1. Head and Brain points:  These are your finger tips.  Rub/massage in a circular motion with the thumb of the opposite hand or whatever feels good for you. This will help to bring calm and balance to the mind as well as hitting on some endocrine and sinus points.

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2. Chest and Lung points: This is the area is at the base of your fingers and the top of your palm.  You will feel the metacarpal heads (the other side of your knuckles) and the base of these is pretty much the lower part of this point.  Using the thumb or fingers of the opposite hand rub/massage across this area.  This will help to balance your breath and give more oxygen to the brain to bring calm.

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3. Diaphragm Points: This is at the base of the lung area or just below the bony metacarpal heads. Using the thumb of the opposite hand ‘caterpillar walk’ or rub across this line in both directions. Again this helps with bringing balance to the breath.

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4. Solar Plexus Points:  This is the in the centre of the diaphragm line above and in line with the middle of your palm.  You should press on this point with the thumb of the opposite hand while taking slow, deep breaths.  Do three breaths .. pressing in as you breath in and release at you breath out.  Repeat as many times as necessary to bring almost instant calm.

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5. Shoulder Points:  This are located at the base of your fingers and the section at the bottom of your little finger.  Using the fingers or thumb of the opposite hand work across the area … first the ‘line’ and then the section at the base of the little finger. Notice any tenderness (not pain just tenderness) and breath into it to help ease away the tension from this area of the body.

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6. Spine points: This area runs along the outside of your thumb and along the bottom of your palm.  There are various ways to work this area on  yourself so see which feels the most comfortable – work with thumb of opposite hand in a ‘caterpillar walk’ style, work with fingers of the opposite hand, rub with the whole of your opposite hand.  If you think of the tip of your thumb as your head then work up towards the head will bring more calm energy and working down towards the wrist will bring a relaxing calm.

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7. Adrenal Points:  These points are found near the fleshy part at the base of your thumb and likely to be found by the tenderness there.  Best worked in a gentle circular motion with the opposite thumb while the fingers of the opposite hand ‘cradle’ the hand being worked.  Remember to breath as deep as you can while working these points 🙂

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I hope this finds you safe and secure with another tool in your kete (basket) while feeling a little more calm.

Arohanui

Y

www.becominghealthy.co.nz

 

Drowning in Goodness

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The time just seems to slip away on me at the moment.  The days are getting warmer and sunnier and as a consequence the opportunities to do more are mounting up ….. yes, I feel that I am currently drowning in goodness!

This is a first-world, privileged problem to be sure yet that doesn’t make it feel any less real and at times I have to pinch myself a bit and say ‘WTF …. you have so much.  If there is too much going on let go of something.’  However this is where my biggest fault lies …. I’m useless at letting go!! I like to thing I’m getting better on the material side however that internal voice that keeps telling me I need to do more is constant.

As a consequence I sign myself up to too may things or decide I want to get too many things done in a certain time frame …. I accept the free language course, I plan a workshop, I offer to volunteer, I begin to re-vamp website, I write that blog – yay, doing that ;), I create new power-points, I work on an EFT programme all at the same time as home-schooling, keeping house and trying to keep sane! Yep … so really feeling like I am drowning in goodness.  How do you let go of all that goodness though?  How do I prioritize which gets my attention first?  Usually it is the loudest ones that get first dibs … themselves that is ;).

So here I am sharing a thought instead of the power-point I was hoping to have completed or doing course work that I was hoping to finish.  Here I am letting go of all the demands (for the next hour or so at least) and going to enjoy the fresh air in my lungs and the Spring sunshine on my face.

Sometimes a break

I hope that if you’re reading this and feeling the same you can join me in my life-ring … before diving back into it all.

Arohanui

Y

Misguided Self Love

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The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a roller-coaster here.  Lots of emotions have been dealt with, both kids have been unwell, a long weekend of travel embarked on, family dramas and with all that a LOT of tiredness and everything which comes with that!

For me, my way of coping and keeping on moving is to resort to my ‘security blanket’ (AKA Food).  So as I was beginning to berate myself for eating all manner of things at all manner of times and generally for ‘self sabotage’ behaviours I remembered a saying I heard a while back.  “What we see as self sabotage is actually misguided love’.  Now before your scepticism sets in I’ll explain a little.

take care how you speak to yourself

Thanks quotesology.com for this.

The (scary) truth is that we don’t continue to do something unless we are benefiting in some way – all of us!  This may be hard to swallow however in my overeating and eating foods which I know will cause me pain in the long term I am also getting the instant gratification of having a treat or even (most usually) it keeps me busy so I don’t have time to think about how tired I am or all the things I need to deal with.  I’m benefiting and getting something out of those seemingly unwanted behaviours, in short eating when I’m tired and/or stressed gives me comfort through avoidance.  In my quest to feel ‘better’ I use whatever means I can and usually the ones that were programmed in a long time ago, as in stress we usually revert to old patterns.

Now my logical brain knows that my actions don’t actually make me feel ‘better’ in the long run however in the here and now those actions are hitting the spot, even if only for a few brief moments.  Introducing the misguided self love 🙂  So my aim through these weeks while I get back to healthy eating is to acknowledge that my actions are trying to bring me ‘help’, rather than making myself feel worse by questioning why I am so bad at eating well in times of stress.  Man, it is HARD!! Years of doing the ‘hard talk’ feels impossible to let go of most days however I’m hoping that if I begin to treat myself with a little more respect and kindness by accepting that my actions are intended (however misguided they may be) to help then I may just be able to move on faster.

Hope this finds you loving yourself and being kind to yourself regardless of what the day brings and how hard it may seem.

Arohanui

Y

www.becominghealthy.co.nz

Kitchen Cures for Headaches

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Since the last ‘Kitchen Cures’ post was a bit of a favourite I thought I would post another one this week.  I heard this morning  on the radio that anyone who has avoided the flu so far this winter shouldn’t congratulate themselves just yet as they predicate – not sure who exactly this ‘they’ are but anyway 🙂 – another dose of flu to make the rounds.

Herbs are fantastic healers.

Herbs are fantastic healers to have close.

With flu usually comes headaches so if you do find you are being weighed down with ill health and sore heads this Spring then try out some of these simple kitchen cures.

Headaches are usually the body’s response to stress, both physical and/or emotional.  Stress causes muscles to contract and tension to arise; it can even affect blood flow. First and foremost though is using some common-sense.  If you know the cause of the headache then either remove yourself from that or cease whatever is causing it.

Lavender:
Rubbing lavender essence on your temples can work wonders for relieving and clearing away headaches.  Lavender is a well known sedative, antidepressant and relaxant.  Be sure to use a good quality oil when you are applying it to your skin.

Chamomile:
Why not try a quick easy cup of tea to relieve that head?  The combination of the compounds with in chamomile which relax you and ease pain and a sit down with a cuppa may just be the ticket to clear that headache for good.

Towels:
Yes, strange as it may first appear towels can help to relieve and often clear your headaches.  Colour therapist would add to this a purple towel or piece of fabric.  Colour or not this does help 🙂 Tie a towel firmly around your head, covering the eyes and have a quick lie down.  Sleep will come if you need it otherwise just 10-15 mins of fully resting your eyes and body can help.

Basil:
Making up a tea from dried or fresh basil is a favourite of a French Herbal Folk healer.  It not only relieves the pain, it also eases the restlessness that can accompany headaches.  If you don’t fancy drinking the stuff then try this compress made from 1 teaspoon of dried basil soaked in 1 cup of hot water for 10 mins (then strained) to which 2 Tablespoons of Tincture of Witch Hazel has been added.  Once the basil liquid has cooled apply it as a compress to the forehead and temples for a magical headache reliever.

Chives and Ginger:
If your headache is from sinus congestion then try this teas made from chives  and ginger. Steep 1 ½ Tablespoons of finely chopped chives and ½ teaspoon of finely shredded ginger root into a cup of boiling water for 30 minutes. Cover while the chives and ginger are seeping. Drink lukewarm while sitting for a rest.  In 20 minutes of less your head should feel much better. Repeat as needed.

Hope this finds you happy, healthy and not needing these ‘cures’ any time soon.

Arohanui

Y

www.becominghealthy.co.nz

Creating a Stress-Less life

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Thought I would share this article I wrote for Resonate e-magazine in September – now that I’m allowed to. Copyright 2014 Yossarian Fay 🙂

We all know about stress right?  I mean, in this busy, online, interconnected world where there is a ‘need’ to update, up-skill or up our performance daily there is hardly a moment that goes by without stress! I doubt that there is anyone reading this who has not felt the weight of stress on their shoulders at some time or another.  If there is someone out there who hasn’t felt stress then…..  Can you please, please e-mail and let us all know how you do it!

Stress, a term borrowed from physics, basically describes a force which produces strain on a physical object. Sometime in the 1920’s though, the term stress began to be used within the medical field and became a way of describing a huge range of non-specific issues which caused the human body to function irregularly.  The stress itself is a result of the hormones released in our ‘fight or flight’ response to events in our lives which strain us. In short, we ready ourselves for the perceived dangers in the world. Unfortunately for us though, in our modern age these dangers have changed from actual ‘physical’, external dangers to ‘mental’ dangers we perceive internally, more often than not.  Stress then perpetuates itself as there is no outside trigger to signal that the threat has gone.

Charles R Swindoll once wrote ‘…..life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it…..” So it is with most of us, emotions and attitude dictate everything. The same applies with stress so I’d like to reword Swindoll to say that ‘Stress is caused by 10% of what actually happens and 90% of how we react’.   Our own mental arguments, inner critics and pushers keep us wired.  When we have a deadline to meet it is just that a deadline, there is nothing more to it.  We can either meet it or not. Our brains however begin to perceive it as so much more, as a possible danger to our sense of well-being or our position in life, and this is when the stress begins to creep in.  We feel that if we don’t meet deadlines then we have failed in some way or that others will think badly of us.  We create a ‘demon’ out of it by letting it loom over us with all our other tasks and deadlines. In the end the deadline becomes the force which gets the adrenal glands started, the cortisol pumping and then the stress reactions begin to descend.

The thing is that there are different kinds of stress, both good (the stuff that makes us productive and creative) and bad (the one that causes anxiety and illness), and by changing a few things we can begin to convert some of that bad stress into a more positive one.  Imagine again our deadline. What if upon feeling the stress kick in we began to break the task down into smaller chunks so that we can see the deadline is manageable? What if we began thinking of all the other times we have succeeded in meeting a deadline and in doing so change our outlook to a more positive one. What if we went for a gentle walk (strenuous exercise can actually cause more cortisol to be released) and let the exercise release some endorphins to counter-act the cortisol?  Even thinking of all those times we haven’t met deadlines or completed tasks and the world didn’t collapse will help to put the ‘perceived’ danger into perspective.

Stress will always be there, however it is completely within us to turn that stress into a positive motivator rather than allowing it to build into a destructive force which halts us in our tracks. So at this point I offer you a few simple ideas to change that negative stress into something more positive and in doing so help to create a stress-less life.

Making a plan – Today’s Negotiable Trio (TNT)

This simple tool ‘Today’s Negotiable Trio’ (TNT) will help you to define just three things which you wish to achieve. The idea is to just focus on three things that need doing and feel GREAT when we complete them! These will be your TNT which you need to focus on for the day.  To gain a bit of balance maybe choose one which is personal, one which is business related and one which is family related. Of course when the deadlines arise all three can be whatever you need them to be 😉

Creating Energy – Exercise and movement

You knew it was coming, didn’t you!  Yes, it is vital for us to move our bodies as part of creating our ‘Stress-Less’ life.  Gentle exercise helps us to renew our energy and refresh our minds while the body releases endorphins which are our ‘feel good’ hormones.

Not only will exercise and fresh air help you sleep better, it has also been proven to improve your mood and mindset in life which will help you deal with difficult situations better. Getting out of the environment which is ‘stressing’ you and expending energy will actually beget you more energy while reducing stress.

Clearing the negative – Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

Much of the stress we feel is caused by our emotional reaction to what is happening to us or around us. EFT is a great tool which you can use to help lessen that emotional response. EFT works on the principle of tapping acupressure points at the same time as talking. By tapping on the acupuncture points you ‘free’ trapped energy and by talking about the issue at hand you also gain ‘headspace’ through releasing your internal chatter to the world.  Science also shows that tapping calms the amygdala. This is the part of the brain which is the body’s ‘alarm’ , signalling when it is time to go into ‘fight or flight’ mode, essentially when it is time to stress out! To learn more about EFT head to Becoming Healthy or EFT Universe for a guide on the Emotional Freedom Technique.

Counting your blessing – Re-enforcing the positives

It is exactly as it says above, when the stress creeps in take some time out to focus on all the positives happening in your life. Focus also on all the successes you have felt in the past along with those times when everything turned out just fine despite a rocky start.  In doing this you will be actively changing the way your mind is operating and so when you come back to look at the ‘situation,’ which is causing stress,  you will be able to view it more objectively.

Nourishing your body – Eating and drinking well

Just as your car eventually won’t work if you are putting in diesel instead of petrol, your body can’t work with the ‘wrong’ kinds of food in it.  Nourishing our bodies with good food so that it can work at its best is important when creating a ‘Stress-Less’ life.  When the body is ‘stressed’ from combating the ‘wrong’ kinds of foods for us it begins to come into a state of dis-ease and from there more stress occurs.

In order to create the ‘Stress-Less’ life we are aiming for we need to be listening to our bodies, nourishing it and also giving it time to rest in between meals. How this occurs will be different for everyone.  It is so important to take time to really listen to your body and how it reacts with foodstuffs to find the ‘right’ nourishing foods for you.  Considering the amounts we eat, the frequency at which we eat and the quality of the food are all important to creating a ‘Stress-Less’ life in our physical bodies.

So there they are; a few ideas for creating your own ‘Stress-Less’ life.  A fact of life is that there will always be stress; however how you deal with the stress which occurs is up to you. Try the ideas out, give them ago and use them to help you create a life where you are in control not your emotional response to stress.  You create your own realities; changing stress into a positive motivator is a far nicer reality to live with.

Arohanui

Y

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/pages/Becoming-Healthy-NZ/687015657978205

Easing through the stress

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Honestly there really isn’t that much to stress about with this move; we are getting packers, the house has been freshly painted, all the maintenance on the property is done, it is a landlord’s market here with hardly anything to rent, himself will be here pretty much until we move and the kids are old enough to help.  Yet, me being me I still find something to worry about and stress over!

Our house on the hill

Our house on the hill

Last shift (2.5 years ago) my eating wasn’t as good as it was now and I resorted to late nights mixed with V energy drinks and rescue remedy to see me through. This time I am in much better health and with the absence of sugar in my diet there will be no V this time around 🙂 However the stress has made an old problem re-surface; diverticulitis.

I have pretty much sorted this diverticular dis-ease, which I have had for close to a decade, with changing my life style and eating however in times of stress is does appear for short bursts with vengeance!  In these times I get tapping, keep up the exercise and Bach Flowers to help the emotional side and I usually revert to a gluten free, diary free, increased liquids along with a nut and seed free way of eating which equates to a fairly dull old meal time.

So imagine my delight when I read a great wee recipe in my running magazine for a yummy wee ‘pancakes’ which fit into the above criteria!  I thought I would share it here because they really were very easy, yummy and best of all healthy 🙂

Coconut and Banana Pancakes

Thanks to Runners World Magazine – November 2014

  •  2 bananas
  • 45g ground almonds
  • 15g desiccated coconut
  • 1 egg
  1.  Mash bananas (just realised I did both when the recipe says one and to use the other for a topping – still yummy though) in a bowl and stir in the ground almonds and coconut.
  2.  Beat in the egg. (Recipe says to add in milk to make a batter however in using both bananas in the recipe I didn’t do this).
  3. Heat some oil in a frying pan and place a few teaspoonful amounts into the pan, keeping them separate.
  4. Cook for 3-4 minutes until golden underneath and then flip over and cook till the other side is golden.
  5. Serve as they are for a yummy morning tea or top with a drizzle of honey and  sliced banana for an easy dessert.
  6. Enjoy

Hope this finds you all happy, healthy and pain-free 🙂

Arohanui

Y