So often we increase our stress levels simply by worrying about everything we have to do, what others think or that we are not living up to our potential while everyone else around us seem to have their lives sorted. Truth is that if we had an opportunity to take even the tiniest peek into those ‘other lives’ we would recognize the same fears, worries, un-decidedness and underlying troubles we ourselves have.
It is easy to compare ourselves for better or worse with others however it doesn’t always serve us very well. We don’t really know what the other person it thinking or feeling and we don’t know what they have experienced. You can always benefit from seeing how others deal with issues in a positive way; just comparing yourself and rating yourself better or worse will never bring true, long term gains. Our stress and worry levels are determined by one major factor – how we react to the events in our lives – not by how we are ‘measuring up . Event + Response / Reaction = Outcome. (Canfield, The Success Principles, 2015). So how we decide to react can bring us more or less stress and more or less happiness in life.
The question is then; if we are all going through similar problems and our stress levels are decided by how we response to those problems then what are we to do? Give up? Go with the flow? Battle it all? Find a compromise? Or change the way we respond to problems to move forward? All are valid, and possible, plans of action. Whatever we choose we would be able to justify in our minds, and to others, so maybe a better questions would be ‘How can I live a more relaxed life’; ‘What would serve me positively’; or ‘Which actions will enable me to grow as a person?’
Even when it seems that it is other people who have created the problem if we are worried or stressed about it then it is our issue. We can’t change others, only ourselves. However; and here is where the magic comes in, sometimes in changing ourselves, in reacting to events in a different way, the people around us want to change too. Problems and issues seem to lessen or disappear, the stress eases and life feels better. The law of attraction states that ‘like will attract like’ so the more positive and calm we are the more positivity and calmness we attract and the reverse is also true. So which would you choose?
By focusing on the present, being grateful for all the positives and abundance we have, and moving forward from there we will attract those who are also thinking along the same lines. The past is already history, it has created the people we are for better or for worse and the future is still a mystery. While we can acknowledge the past and have goals for the future if we stay in either place too long it can leave us in a stagnant space dwelling or dreaming rather than acting. Here and now is where and when life is happening!
As the Dalai Lama is quoted as saying “There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.”
Arohanui
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Becoming Healthy 